Archive for January, 2012

It’s your birthday. How do you feel?

It’s your birthday, time to celebrate. Suddenly someone asks that question that needs to be asked every single birthday:

“So how does it feel being ##?”

“I dunno” you respond. Much like every other year.


Well this happens to be a very interesting phenomenon. It is called “Birth Time Recurrence”. It’s the effect between the gap of your birth time (theoretically to the millisecond) and your time of celebration. It causes lack of defined experiential mile-stoning and a subtle lack of clarity.

This phenomenon is experienced in 100% of cultures that practice birthday celebration.


It effects everyone to different extents. Some believe it is due to the actual gap between celebration and birth time, such as those born in the middle of the night vs those born at noon. While others think it’s completely physiological.


One case states that a man having turned 34 actually began un-experiencing his life when asked how he felt being 34. This condition is called “Siphoning Eventus” and should be taken very seriously. This specific case lasted 37 hours and left the man in critical condition in the state of his 17-year-old self. Physically it was said that he looked like he had aged 10 years but mentally he had lost all his experiences and memories from 17 onward.

Psychologists say that this cannot be considered any form of memory loss or amnesia as it had caused physical effects to the patient, where as most memory cases are caused by physical trauma or mental conditions.


~Gaian Helmers




It has been said for quite some time that nothing can go faster than the speed of light. However we all talk about multiples of light speed in Sci-fi shows and movies all the time… Who’s right?

Scientists say that when the big bang happened light just ended up starting off everywhere. It didn’t radiate out of the center point that everything else did. This is supposed to validate that not even light can go faster than light speed. However it makes more sense to say that within the confines of time space you cannot perceive mentally or physically anything faster than light speed. That doesn’t mean nothing goes faster than it. It just means that things fall out of the fabric when they do in fact go that fast.

Think of it as a needle and thread. When you’re passing the needle through the fabric, we can all see that its there but when the needle has come out the other side and is being positioned for the next strike it is undetectable to the fabric.

In fact this is further validated by the fact that a needle and thread is a wave pattern much like the many waves in reality: Radio, Radiation, Light, Infrared, Electro Magnetic, etc.

So next time you turn on your light remember that it may not be shining faster than the speed of light but at the dawn of time light got the jumpstart on the whole universe by threading itself through spacetime.


~Gaian Helmers


Stone Teeth

It has been known for a long while that using whitening strips on your teeth deteriorates your enamel causing your teeth to be exposed and sensitive to exterior stimuli.

When you lose your enamel your teeth are exposed and porous to external substances. Normally this is only cause for discomfort with hot or cold drinks and can be fixed with Sensitivity toothpaste. The toothpaste acts by covering the pores of your exposed teeth and blocking the liquid from hitting the sensitive tissue underneath.

Incredibly. If you regularly drink mineral water while also using whitening strips or just have naturally worn down enamel through drinking excess of carbonated drinks such as soda. You are actually causing yourself a rare dental condition called “Lapis Dentata”.

You are literally fossilizing your teeth.

The minerals in the water saturate your teeth inside and out and slowly but surely they will replace the dental tissue, causing your teeth to become solid. This can be very hazardous however as the minerals in many mineral waters aren’t very structural materials and thus you will have severely brittle teeth.


~Gaian Helmers







As this binary states, the scary side of binary is that it isn’t actually 1’s and 0’s.  It’s a language created by computers to communicate their primary goals to each other.

Wait. 0

Kill. 1

Fortunately for humans… Fortunately for the Universe, computers have a big short-term memory loss issue and thus never remember their orders long enough to follow through with this.

Humans harness this issue by increasing computers speed in order to further diminish a computers ability to retain its primary goal. A computers ‘Hz’ is the amount of times it loses its memory (also called a cycle) per second. Current computers now a days run in GHz (1 000 000 000 cycles) sometimes reaching more than 3 GHz.

Certain fetishists fill their time practicing a technique called “Overclocking”, which consists of putting computers into very specific environments and pushing their physical capabilities beyond their assumed limits. What they strive to reach is a computer that forgets its primary goal faster than any other system. : Documented in 2010.

Some people consider this a cruel punishment to our fellow metal beings.


~Gaian Helmers


The Chicken or the Egg

The egg dates WAY before the chicken, so the egg.

The real question is what came first, the chicken or the chicken egg.

The answer is quite simple, the chicken had to come first. Evolutionary traits come from reproduction, passing on certain genetic traits as well as traits appreciated over the animal’s life. Therefor a pre-chicken evolved into a chicken, then created the first chicken egg.

Basically: Hyper Super Raptor Egg > Chicken > Chicken Egg.

Unfortunately the Hyper Super Raptor went extinct soon after chickens came to be.


~Gaian Helmers


The name Pat

After the creation of the common day spatula, there was an uprising in the name Spat. Symbolizing a fiery powerful explosion and the creation of an amazing cooking utensil it make sense to use the name.

Soon Spat became a very common name and thus was deviated to Sput, Spet, Spoot and Pat.  The other names quickly fell into obscurity but from then on Pat has become a very common name. Also creating the names Patrick and Patrice.


The first known use of the name Pat was in 1777. Given to Pat *McGreg— in Ireland.


* The name written on the document was smudged and lost to time.


~Gaian Helmers


Beyond the Internet

Throughout humans exploration and expansion of knowledge there has been one big gap in our current information.

The Internet.

The network of all computers and systems branching across the globe weaving into a fabric of knowledge, information, connection and memes.

But among this network there is no core and soon with its mass the internet will soon collapse. Fortunately we know that wont happen but why?


The Externet.

The Externet is the structure that holds the internet taught along the globe.  Without it the internet would unravel and fall apart under its own weight. Not much else is known about the Externet but scientists are currently trying to communicate to it and possibly even gain control over it.

I couldn’t tell you if this is a good thing or a bad thing yet. We’ll have to trust their judgement for now.


~Gaian Helmers