To the Throne Room

We are all royalty when on the trusty (and sometimes untrustworthy) throne. It may not be glamorous but we all need to use the bathroom eventually.

But why is it that we call it the Throne? Many are told that it is because indoor plumbing was first created for royalty and often used very fancy chairs with holes through them as toilets.

While true it is not the reason why it is called the Throne. A few decades before the posh toilets of the modern kings and queens there was a king.
King Borough Thadius from the now lost nation of Frede’lachower (located in the current north of France). Borough had a digestive parasite known as Intestinal Mites, they feed on nutrient saturated intestinal flora and cause extreme diarrhea.

As you can safely assume, Borough spent most of his time in the bathroom, so much so that his servants began to joke that it was the new throne Room.

Jokes soon became reality when the king decided to added matters of state from within his new throne Room.

He passed away a few years later from lack of nutrition, his brief use of the bathroom as his throne Room left a lasting expression among his nation and it soon spread globally.

Let us all thank King Borough Thadius for making our trip to The Throne Room a little more fancy…


~Gaian Helmers



We Need More Time!

In physics there are many theories on the ways of the world, the universe, everything around us. Some theories involve 3 dimensions, others 4 and one theory, gaining more traction in the physics community has 9 dimensions.

The common factor among these theories? Time.

Every prominent theory of physics involves multiple space dimensions and 1 complimenting time dimension.

This however is an unfortunate pattern of habit. Many of the space dimensions are argued to be so small we cannot currently detect them in any way. From the common eye, to hyper powerful microscopes and detectors its just way too small.

Now with time… the idea is that it’s an all-encompassing dimension.. The dimension of time. However, what would that dimension of time be doing if you were to watch something change at such a slow pace that to any of us it would look like time is not happening at all?

Not much could be said about exactly what these effects could be but there’s a possibility that this second dimension of time would be the dimension that merges space with the currently seen time dimension.

This second dimension would be seen as the thing that receives spacial information from the absolute smallest objects in existence and allows things to then change and alter their course. Which would then expand and transition into the time we know of in our every day lives.

Black holes have this phenomenon. To anyone outside the hole anything that passes through the event horizon would look like it has stopped completely. This however is a very very large-scale view at the absolutely undetectable changes that take place in the T2 dimension.


~Gaian Helmers


Flexibility: Evolution for the Best

Flexibility. At first thought you may imagine a gymnast or a snake or even a simple action like splits or double jointed-ness. Flexibility can be a lot of things but did you know that flexibility is the base tool for advanced evolution?


Now to initially clear things up, flexibility to my standards is the ability the flex, distort adjust and move to achieve certain goals.

Flexibility is what has made man, such an advanced being. Be it lips, to arms, to legs, to spine to brain everything man does has been founded upon our ability to flex to meet the requirements of our environment. We’ve been able to stand upright with the strength and flexibility of our spines; create mouth movements to whistle and create language; flex and move our fingers to use and manipulate tools, create and gesture symbols and meanings, direct and coordinate ourselves; adapt to our environments from arctic and desert wasteland to wet swamp to plains. Flexibility has founded and allowed man to advance beyond every other creature on earth. How can I come to this conclusion?


Well consider the next most advanced creatures on our planets. The dolphin, the squid, the octopus.. all of these are incredibly flexible creatures and very very advanced.  Just look up documentaries of them. The answer to all their abilities? Flexibility.


~Gaian Helmers


A Strange Look at Language

I’m going to toss out another strange look article. These ones intrigue me the most because they border the line of incomprehensability.


Language is a very huge part in human evolution and advancement, be it teaching a child the ways of the world or physicists decyphering the laws of reality language has a massive part in our daily lives.


If you actually think about it though it’s an incredibly strange thing. A string of sounds created from air crossing vocal chords that follow certain patterns and rules create a mental object of expression. Even this article that you are now reading is following symbols that represent this vocal expression. But why is it that we cannot understand other languages?

Well it’s exactly the same reason that language exists, it has many many different genes involved in it. From culture to location, language is skewed by the many many many people who use it. Japanese, Italian, Korean, Greek, German, Gaelic can all be translated to english but does it mean the same things? No. It does not and never will. This is because languages can only be connected by close equivalents. Japanese uses very formal ways of speaking, titles and words expressig the context of your sentance are used in most dialogue where as german uses der, die and das to explain masculine, femenine and neutral formats of words. Many languages are so incredibly different from eachother that there IS no way to compare them other than to re-word them to meet the requirements of the translated language.


Language is a very strange thing. As you can definitely read.

La langue est une chose très étrange. Comme vous pouvez le lire en priorité.

Taal is een heel raar ding. Zoals je kan zeker lezen.

Sprache ist eine sehr seltsame Sache. Wie Sie sich auf jeden Fall zu lesen.

Ipsa linguae alienae. Ut potest certus legitur.


La langue est une chose très étrange. Comme vous pouvez le lire en priorité.

Is teanga an rud an-aisteach. Mar is féidir leat léamh cinnte.

Dil çok garip bir şeydir. Kesinlikle okumak gibi.

Ngôn ngữ là một điều rất lạ. Như bạn chắc chắn có thể đọc.

भाषा एक बहुत ही अजीब बात है. जैसा कि आप निश्चित रूप से पढ़ सकते हैं.

Gjuha është një gjë shumë e çuditshme. Siç mund ta lexoni patjetër.


~Gaian Helmers


New Genious on the Block

It has just recently been documented that Octopi are rapidly reaching intellectual development equivalent to our own. Scientists noticed the octopi gesturing things to each other with their tentacles, at first it seemed very basic and uncoordinated but one scientist recognized some patterns.


Binary. Yes. The octopi were communicating to each other in binary. Each tentacle is bit 1 through 8 and motioning its whole body up or down from its starting position is 9 and 10. Scientists are currently trying to figure out which tentacle exactly is which bit of information but they say that it should take them a few weeks at most.


No one knows if this is a universal language among octopi or if it’s a special case among this clan, but whats clear to me is that we may not be at the top of the food chain for long.


~Gaian Helmers


Sleepless Health

To most having a sleepless night can be terrible the next day. Staying up all night to finish a project or work is absolutely body breaking.

But to one man he owes his whole lively hood.  A man in Eastern Iceland turns 126 today and claims to not have slept a wink in the past 39 years. As crazy as it seems he says that if he has a steady 4th meal of vegetables and complex carbohydrates he feels invigorated and fresh all night. On his off days he meditates but never drifts to sleep. He has many hobbies such as plumbing, carving, painting, model making, jigsaw puzzles and much more. His favorite of all his hobbies is carpentry and it shows in his house. Hand built from the ground up every banister, floor board, baseboard, trim and cupboard has been hand crafted and carved by him.

He says he’s having the time of his life and hopes to live another 25-30 years. I hope he reaches that goal.


~Gaian Helmers


Tree Speech

It has been known for a very long time that a trees rings dictate how many years its been alive.


This however, has left the topic so common that no one has stopped to think about them any further.

It is believed that trees speak a language far far far far surpassing that of the first human language. The facts are in their rings…


Each gap represents a certain ‘point’ in a pattern, think of morse code. The sentence starts from the center ring and moves outward in any direction. It is an incredibly slow and drawn out language that takes a very long time to get to the point, but it is there. We just need to listen.


Other researchers argue that the sentences start in the center and read out to the end. But each sentence is only one degree of the radius of the tree. Thus a tree can say hypothetically infinite things, but realistically almost 360 sentences all at once. This is further verified by the fact that each ring is not uniform in its shape meaning that a point could be saying delicious and 2 inches further down it could be saying basket. If read center out at these different points they could be completely different topics or even a full on conversation.


The currently deciphered tree words are:

Hurt – Using 4 rings.

Rain – Using 5 rings.

Water – Using 2 rings.

Food – Using 2 rings.

Air – Using 6 rings.

Sick – Using 5 rings.


Perhaps in the near future we will be able to have some good conversations with some elder trees. Though the downside is, in order to see their half of the conversation we have to cut them down. Pretty big bummer if you ask me.


~Gaian Helmers